Ancient Informant
by frankie the elf
Summary: one shot. short story of an ancient's point of view in the war with the wraith 10,000 years ago. comedy. might be used in another story later.


"Fire on their Dart bays! Send out the Jumpers, cloaked until discovered, then switch to shielding. _**Move**_ people!" Kiana del Carlos yelled various orders as she moved around the bridge, barely swaying as her ship took hits.

"Captain!" Someone yelled over the din. "We lost a Zero Point Module! Shields are failing!"

"Get someone in Shield Engineering to switch to backups!" She yelled to a communications officer.

"Communications are down!" he whined. She growled in frustration and pointed to a new ensign.

"You! Run down to Shield Engineering and get someone to switch to backups!" He looked about. "_**Move!"**_ he jumped and started to the Internal Transport Corridor. "I believe I told you to run Ensign!" he moved faster.

"Shields are down!"

"Target their bridge!" Kiana yelled back. "Evasive manoeuvres!"

The next hit made her grab her chair for stability and created a lightshow of sparks in the bridge.

"Deck Seven was hit! Venting atmosphere!"

"Seal it off!"

"There are people in there!"

"They're likely already dead." She replied grimly looking at her console. "Do it!"

"We have shields!"

"'Bout bloody time." She muttered. "What's the Hive's status?"

Her answer was a massive explosion that filled the Main Screen as the Hive exploded. The shockwave threw her to the floor. Her vision began to blacken as she lost consciousness.

_But that's okay_….she thought distantly, _the battle's over_…..

Captain Kiana sat up groggily. For once in her life as captain, her face lost it's characteristic scowl.

"Captain? How're you feeling?" The Med asked with a smirk of borderline insolence.

"Fine." Her face resumed its normal expression and she got off the examination table. She grabbed her clothes from a table nearby and strode over to an IT that would get her to her quarters where she could change.

"You look much more attractive when you don't scowl!" The Med called after her. She made a note to have him confined to his quarters for a day. She was not in the mood.

"You. Report. How are repairs going?"

"Yes sir! Captain on deck!" Everyone snapped to attention.

"I asked for repairs not a bloody parade." She snapped.

"Um….Yes sir! We're ready to put atmosphere back into Deck Seven."

Kiana nodded. "I want a memorial service in two days. Get reports ready for their families. I'll add my own tonight." She said quietly. She didn't always have a stone cold heart.

There was a respectful silence for the dead.

Kiana broke it with a tired sigh. She rubbed her temples. She operated better when under pressure…like in a battle. She wasn't good with recoveries.

"okay…um…make a jump through hyperspace to Colana Quadrant….work on whatever repairs each of you have in your sector…..get communications online as soon as possible and page me in my office with it when you do." She said before exiting the bridge.

She had not set one foot in her office when there was a beep from her communications console. She sighed. She'd been hoping for a nap. It would've been her first form of sleep since they'd been running into hive ship after hive ship 48 hours ago.

She pushed the COMlink button in her office.

"Captain, communications are up."

"Obviously." She was about to release the COM button when the voice continued.

"There's something else."

"What is it?"

"You'd better come up to the bridge to see this."

Kiana sighed again and closed the COMlink.

"What have we got?" Kiana asked as she entered the bridge. The people quivered as they resisted the urge to snap to attention. _Good, they're getting used to me,_ She thought. She's only been captain of this ship for a few days since they left the City Antaris.

The Mainscreen flickered and a starfield appeared. In the centre there was a single wraith. A scout ship that should definitely not be alone in the Colana Quadrant, which, as far as they knew, was wraithless.

"The dart shows no life signs." Her First Mate reported. She liked her First Mate. He was the only one aboard the whole ship who knew what information was pertinent to the conversation and how to deal with a problem himself without asking her stupid questions first. She might as well be running the ship herself otherwise. People just couldn't figure out how to skip permission and solve their own problems.

"Expand sensors." She ordered. "Look for hive ships, Cruisers and Stargates."

The Screen pushed aside the image of the rather dead-looking dart and expanded a 2D representation of space. The dart was indeed alone. It wasn't even in flying distance of a Stargate.

"Should we shoot it?" A youngish looking Cadet asked. She gave him a withering look.

"Oh yes, let's shoot down a wonderful little convenient source of wraith technology shall we? While we're at it, let's shoot ourselves in the foot as well." She muttered sarcastically.

"Shock it with an Electromagnetic Pulse. We don't need a beacon activating once we reel it in." She spun on her heel and called one last order over her shoulder before she left.

"Bring it in to bay 3 and start examining it."

She smiled as she walked into her office. The couch in the corner called to her seductively.

"Mmmm…..Sleeeep. Sleep is good." She took three steps and the COMlink beeped.

Her eye twitched slightly. She turned very slowly to face the console. Resisting the urge to punch through it and yank out its wires she pressed the button.

She tried to say a few things that would have probably been more polite than what she ended up saying.

"What the hell is it now?!?" She winced.

"The dart's pilot is alive."

"Damn." The damnable creature was probably hibernating. He had no hope of flying to any veritable food source so he went to sleep. He'd probably been drifting farther and farther away from any Stargate for weeks.

"It's a humanoid male. It didn't give us any trouble but-"

She quickly COMed the bridge.

"Widen sensors again and tell me immediately if and ship comes within twice the range of Wraith Psychic communication range."

"Yes s-"

She cut the COM and switched back to her original conversation.

"Sir?"

"Interrogate it."

"It says it only wants to speak with you."

"What?"

"It asked for you by name."

Kiana felt a chill run down her spine. She cut the COM and made her way to the nearest IT. Next stop, holding cells.

She strode into the holding deck, a picture of confidence, with her best scowl. It wasn't a hard picture to make, considering her irritation towards anything that kept her from her sleep. Also considering her apparent _lack_ of sleep.

Her confidence dissolved when she saw who it was.

Lyll Karkectk slid his arms through the first set of uncharged bars on his cell and leaned on the rail.

"We meet again… Starshine." He grinned as he spoke. Every wraith has a different grin if you'll notice. Some grin like they're going to eat you. Some grin like they're pissed. When Lyll grinned, which was all the time, it was like he found everything hysterically amusing. Which he did.

(If you don't know what I mean, check out the episode where Sheppard meets up with Fjord and his band who make him go on the suicide hive ship mission. When you see the one wraith grin, you'll know what I mean.)

"Oh. My. Ascended. Mother." She said in a monotone "Of all the bloody wraith in the galaxy…..it had to be you."

"I am…..glad… to see you….as well." He said in that halting voice, with that infuriating grin.

"Sir?" The guards looked at her funny.

She waved them away.

"What do you want? Why are you so far from your hive?" she demanded.

"In ….exchange for such…. Information…." He began. "I …would like…..a meal."

"Like hell you-" Her First Mate started.

"He's not stupid enough to ask for a human," She interrupted. "Fine."

"Sir! We don't make deals with-" Her First Mate tried again

"Enough."

"But sir! he wont' give up any information any-"

"This one will. And he has a thing for actual food." Kiana muttered. "Cuff his hand and bring him to my meeting room."

"Who is…this….interesting…human?"

"My First Mate"

"You have… a mate?" Lyll asked eyebrows signalling my scepticism.

"It's a rank, not a person in that sort of relationship."

"I was…going to…say." He said with theatrical relief.

"Are you saying no-one would be attracted to me?"

"Of …course not," he said not so innocently. "But..you…perhaps…would like…to work on…smiling."

"But sir!" the First Mate protested, eyeing the wraith with a weird look.

"Question my orders a fourth time and I'll have you in solitary confinement for a week. Is that clear?"

"You rule…. with an…. iron fist …Starshine."

"Cut the nickname before I take it into my head to have you shot."

"Ah…but…Starshine-" He made a wide gesture with his hands.

"Stun him, right now."

Lyll's eyes snapped open. He looked around. He discovered he was at a table. In field of him was a bowl of assorted fruits, a bottle of wine, a glass and a plate of cheese and crackers. Kiana was sitting across from him, leaning back in her chair and scowling as usual.

"What….no….dessert?" he asked, resuming his grin.

"Don't push it Lyll."

Lyll selected a firm-skinned fruit and sat back. He took a bite out of it and put his feet up on the table.

"Feet off." She warned. He kept them up.

"Lyll…" She growled. He smirked impetuously.

"Come on Lyll…" She pleaded a more tired face surfaced over her scowl.

He slid his feet off the table.

"Thank you." She scowled again. "What are you doing here?"

"Eating."

"in this sector Lyll"

"Well, …I was…. having a most…. pleasant hibernation…. When… you… came along."

"Lyll, cut the crap. Where's your hive?"

"In pieces." He answered simply.

She winced. "Ouch."

"I'd say…..it….was more…of a loss…..for you…than i." he said reaching for a bunch of grape like things, which we'll call grapes for the time being. "I never….really….fit..in. And….i prefer…..working….alone…..or in …partnership." He added waggling an eyebrow at her.

"Forget it. My dallying days are over. I'm a captain now and they need me. This is the last safe sector and your people are closing in."

"The offer…..will remain…open. Your people…..cannot… hope… to win." His grin disappeared. "You…..are…only…delaying….the…inevitable."

"Think I don't know that?" Kiana stood up suddenly and turned to the window trying to control her facial expression. Trying to hold down the despair. She knew it was coming. They had left the City Antaris all right. They'd left it in ruins. It was only a matter of time. She knew the council planned on abandoning the Galaxy. Few cities remained. She felt her throat tighten. Tears gathered in her eyes.

A lone grape ricocheted off her head. Lyll to the emotional rescue. She narrowed her eyes and turned around. He was grinning again, with a pout added on.

"You….are…ignoring…me."

She resisted the urge to smile. Best not to feed the beast.

"So," She said down to business, sitting down. "No more information?"

He breathed in and connected to her mentally via the gene he'd injected her with so many years ago.

The most I can offer you now are structural upgrade information in our technology so you know where best to fire and tactical hints he "uploaded" as much as he knew to her brain. I will have to join a hive once again. However they will be on their guard to newcomers, especially if they realize the nature of my last hive's…..last days. 

He realized the effect his choice of words had on Kiana. _Last days….._ the thought of her people's last days floated foremost to her consciousness. Not wanting to accidentally mind read he disconnected the link. He preferred playing games to find out what she was thinking. It was much more fun.

"I told you not to tell us where _your_ hive was." She snorted.

He shrugged. "They.. suspected..me." He said simply.

"With good reason." She said dryly.

Lyll threw another grape at her and hoisted himself into a sitting position on the table.

"_LYLL!" _She hissed.

He grinned innocently. He laid on his back, head tiled back to look at her.

"I mean it Lyll!"

"You love me." He said mischievously.

She reached for a rather large fruit to throw at him. She was stopped by a voice on the COM.

"Captain?"

"Yes?" She asked

"You will.. go to.. planet.. Qwalin.. with.. me?.. I'm delighted." Lyll said rapidly…well as rapid as wraith speech can be.

"Quiet you." She hissed at him.

"Yes sir."

"Not you!" She glared at Lyll.

"Oh."

"What is it?" She asked. Lyll rolled over propped his chin on his hands and proceeded to stare as distractingly as possible at her. She put her hand up in Lyll's face.

"The Admiral's ship has exited hyper space and he'd like to speak to you."

"On screen. Wait! Hold that thought." She turned to Lyll. "Off the table."

He just grinned.

"Sir?" the confused Ensign asked.

"Stall the admiral to the best of your ability please, Ensign. GET OFF THE TABLE LYLL!"

"Make..me."

"oh for-" Kiana proceeded to try and push Lyll off the table. It was like trying to push a wall out of the way. "Lyll I don't have time for this!"

"Captain?"

"Wait just a second."

Lyll sat up and then flopped over her shoulder. She gasped trying to pull his dead weight off the table without dropping him.

"Captain!"

"I said wait just a- Admiral!" She dropped Lyll's upper body unceremoniously on the floor. His legs soon followed.

"oof!"

She couldn't resist glaring at him. "Next time when I say get off the table-"

"CAPTAIN!" the admiral roared. She snapped to attention.

"Sir! Yes sir." She said sheepishly.

"WHAT IS THAT….THING DOING IN-"

"Sir, I can explain. That's Lyll, he's our informant remember?" She scrambled to explain.

Lyll got up grinning stupidly and waved. "Hello!"

"You shut up." Kiana grated.

"Lyll, eh?" The Admirals mood lightened….a bit. "I didn't know they came with names."

"Tell me about yourself, _Lyll_." The admiral asked.

Lyll kept grinning but said nothing.

"Lyll." Kiana elbowed him. "Say something."

but ….you told me to shut up 

_Fine time for you to listen._

"Well, _un_shut up!"

"If you're an informant _wraith,_ inform why don't you?"

"Well.. if …_you_ ..say.. so." Lyll said, clearly ignoring the Admiral. He cleared his throat. "I am Lyll. i….enjoy.,..human…cuisine…and…my…favourite…past time… is to. . annoy… the hell..out of..Starshine." he put his arms around Kiana's neck and went limp.

"GET OFF ME!"

"I certainly hope he gave you more useful information than that _Captain_, because as you know, your entire career hangs from the existence of that informant. I will be coming there personally in one hour to discuss it." The admiral cut the link.

Kiana blinked once.

"LYYYYYYYLL!!!!!" She shrieked inhumanly. He jumped and fell to the floor scuttling away.

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS TO ME?!?! YOU LIFE SUCKING THING THAT CALLS HIMSELF A MAN THAT EVOLVED FROM A BUG!!!!!" She screeched out all of the frustration that had built up in her since 48 hours ago.

She stopped, breathing hard. Lyll was no longer grinning. He had a completely solemn look on his face.

"Is….that…how…..you….see…..me?" He choked out. He stood. His normally relaxed shoulders and high held head took on a more predatorily wraith-like posture. "then… why… don't i…remove….my…unasked for ….existence …from… your….. sight."

"Lyll! Wait! I-I didn't mean-it's just that-" he frown dissolved again. Her face looked younger, more innocent, more pain filled…..

"Do….not…waste…your….breath…on..me." He said turning his back to her. "it..is…obvious…you don't…care…about….me."

"That's not true! I care Lyll-" She put her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off.

He laughed without any humour.

"No, …you don't….i am…just….a wraith…a horrible…monster…..which is why…you…left and…obviously…aren't coming….back."

Suddenly she knew what he was talking about. Their partnership. The one she had terminated so she could join the Fleet. Sailing the galaxy in a wraith scout, causing general havoc. Being bounty hunters, partners in crime. Back when the war wasn't so serious.

"Lyll, it's not you, it's me" She winced at how that line struck as insincere even when used honestly. It was the oldest line for gently letting people down. "I have to be here to help my people to-" She stopped, peering carefully at his cheek. She couldn't see his face but….

"Hey! You're messing with me aren't you?"

He turned, the already evident grin widening. "Is it…working?"

"Arrgh! That's it! I'm ignoring you!" She frowned again, stalked over to the table and sat, with her head down on her arms.

"You…can't ignore…me" He skipped over to her. She was snoring. An obvious tactic. He poked her.

"I'm leaving." He pretended to walk towards the door.

"I'm picking.. the lock.. on my.. hand cuff ..with the.. intention ..of feeding.. off the entire.. shiiip."

Her nose started whistling.

"Your…nose is…whistling."

She was truly asleep. She never admitted to having a nose whistle.

"How long….have you…gone without…sleep?" He understood how humans slept when tired, verses when waiting for the food supply to build up.

He turned to see how he could cause the most trouble when the human alarm system went off. It was similar to a hive ship's alarm.

"Captain! Ten hive ships have exited hyperspace and are charging weapons!"

Lyll had several rapid fire thoughts run through his head. One, the humans would not survive this battle. Two, that included Kiana. Three, he could not allow her to die. Four she wouldn't be awake to stop him anyway. He quickly picked the lock to his hand cuff, shook it off and turned to Kiana's unconscious form. He hoisted her limp body into his strong arms and made for the door.

"Captain! Hey! What are you? Stop!" a human pleaded from the viewscreen.

He ran through the hallways, making his way to the landing bay his scout ship was docked in. he threw Psychic Projections in the paths of humans who might run into him. Those that he ran into he threw out of the way with an effortless swipe. People didn't bother shooting at him, lest they hit the Captain and he generally stayed out of their way. They were, at the moment, a little too busy trying to save the ship than to stop him.

As he entered the landing bay he was looking for he noticed a lot of activity. Jumper pilots were scrambling to their respective Jumpers. He ducked into the shadows and looked around. He spotted his Scout, crammed in a corner off to the side. They better not have scratched his ship. He ran as fast as possible towards it to avoid attention.

Quickly, he dematerialised the hatch and slipped inside, rematerializing it behind him. He slid Kiana carefully into the co-pilot's seat and took the pilots seat. He activated the ship but didn't lift off until most of the jumpers were gone from the bay. He then expertly flew the scout from the bay and hightailed it out of there. He flew as far as possible from the battle without losing it from sight, then turned the ship 180 degrees to view the battle, activating the live feed to his viewscreen.

Kiana stirred beside him.

"What-?" She sat upright suddenly. "Where am i?"

She looked down at the chair beneath her the looked hesitantly beside her, at him. Her eyes narrowed. "What. Are. You. Doing?"

"Extending… your already… short… human… life." Lyll answered without a grin.

"How are you saving my life? Because it kind of looks like you're kidnapping me." Kiana asked dryly.

He nodded towards the viewscreen. She turned her head and gasped.

"BRING ME BACK THERE RIGHT NOW!"

"No."

"BRING ME BACK BEFORE I MAKE YOU INCAPAPBLE OF PASSING ON YOUR GENES!" She hissed.

Lyll pursed his lips and shifted over. "No."

"Lyll!"

"No…..it is …suicide"

"They need me!"

"They cannot…..win."

"A captain goes down with her ship!"

"Let us say….that your…First Mate…has been ….promoted."

"They're all I have left!"

"Are they?" he looked at her seriously. She stopped arguing, and turned her eyes to the battle.

The Admiral's ship was the first to go. Kiana saluted grimly to the dying ship. Then, it exploded in a burst of blue, orange and white. It was beautiful. Next her ship turned to run. It opened a hyperspace window. Kiana silently cheered on their cowardly decision. They almost made it. The Vitania exploded on the hyperspace threshold. The explosion would probably travel through a bit of hyperspace and erupt suddenly in open space, a lightshow for all to see.

Kiana said goodbye to her ship. To her life as she once knew it. Then, Lyll, who cared for no-one but himself, turned the ship around. Well, almost no-one, he looked at Kiana as she cried and rubbed her back.

He turned back to his controls and sent his-their ship onto their next adventure.


End file.
